Without the sticky little kitten,

A heart that's full up like a landfill
A job that slowly kills you
Bruises that won't heal
You look so tired and unhappy
Bring down the government
They don't, they don't speak for us
I'll take a quiet life
A handshake of carbon monoxide
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
Silent, silent
This is my final fit, my final bellyache with
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises please
Such a pretty house, such a pretty garden
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises please" - radiohead

how do i find myself away from this conclusion?......i can make a extreme up, a tragic down or settle.......christ is the hope.......but what hope?........i dont seem to be able to really change anyone, everyone can only change themselves....but into what?....what are we supposed to change ourselves into?....do we follow christ to get super powers? respect? love? or to not not get to heaven?......i want to see God, but more....just like a lover i have not been able get enough, but unlike a lover i want to have more than just the feeling of them. i want to know them, but how can i know God if i keep getting told he is more than my mind can comprehend?
why am i just seeking a goal that i can only see after life?
how does that encourage me to live?.....wow i sound suicidal....im not.....i just would like to quit.....and killing myself is not quiting its doing something.....something creepy.....dont matter how you look at it, taking your own life is creepy.....really!
eh.....now i dont know what im talking about.......it just seems life is about people, and all the people are about themselves.....like me.





without the pretty pink ribbon
you'll end up just like me. -cake (a four letter word)

dave

Twenty three and so tired of life
Such a shame to throw it all away
The images grow darker still
Could I have been anyone other than me? Then I

Look up at the sky
My mouth is open wide, lick and taste
What's the use in worrying, what's the use in hurrying
Turn, turn we almost become dizzy

Iam who I am who I am who am I
Requesting some enlightenment
Could I have been anyone other than me? - DMB

i have been listening to this song for 8 years.........i now just realized it applies.
5/27/81

tavius

i really think im losing it,
i might be bi-polar,
solar flares impares my vision,
my personalities lack of percision
creates division in anything i can be.

i dont know how to see the point anymore,
im a whore for my drinkin and im the one payin.

betrayin all my previous hope,
i dont think i can cope,
on a slippery slope of logic,
im tragic, overdramitic let me be static
perma-matic.

find a fascit of life that dont make me want to quit.
i really cant take this shit, im not fit for living nor fit for dying,
someone start trying to help me keep trying,
if we were not lying about our self denying
then maybe we could carry a cross that was not of our own carving,
a cross that means we are dying without dying,
can i see what that is meaning.
or where is the meaning -TM