i may have more family than i once thought....
i have friends.
ill have a license.
i have a dog that i love as much as a child.
i have a computer.
i have a car i can use.
i have a crappy job.
i have a plan.
i have a dream.
i have a gift. given to me, and maybe a few to give.
i have hope.
i have choices to make.
i have made choices.
i have a smoke and a beer.
i have-n't been the best.
i have to start it all.
it all had to stop. and change rearange in a clidiscope of hopes and dreams, to pull at the different seams of ever controling failure. lack of esteem steam cleaned out. it was without doubt the rope to tie my fate to and endless substrate of less than great, no better than good. i just hope u've understood. i didnt mean for the pain, i rarely do, to all of u, friends, country men, thanks for lending me the beer, ive had my drink and am full........sobering up now things are straight. im straight. past irrate, now to pollinate im settin the date to fly into few better trates
ive had a point to contemplate, to fix the circumstance. past first glance, rants or happenstance
oh yeah, i have a chance.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Monday, July 18, 2005
she got my number i must confess
so get this frickin cool ass thing!!!
its a motown remix of the jackson 5 now for all the white folk on my page, which is prob all of u cept and occasional herb, this might not mean crap to u. but this is the best remix of motown flotown in the spirt of the original i have ever heard. and this song is so over used in hip hop, rock and most genres, but this is bad fuckin ass. i have to give the credit to S.M.Ash for showin this to me, and i am greatful. and so here it is
Black Jackson
its a motown remix of the jackson 5 now for all the white folk on my page, which is prob all of u cept and occasional herb, this might not mean crap to u. but this is the best remix of motown flotown in the spirt of the original i have ever heard. and this song is so over used in hip hop, rock and most genres, but this is bad fuckin ass. i have to give the credit to S.M.Ash for showin this to me, and i am greatful. and so here it is
Black Jackson
Saturday, July 16, 2005
here is the story
Okay so google is starting a new search engine.......they want a bunch of people on here so they can charge advertisers alot of money to to advertise on there new engine......but the thing is by searchin u win stuff and u win me stuff if u sign up through this link.....dont have to but im workin my ass of and have no money to spend for fun if i ever want to get back to nashvegas, so free stuff would be cool.............and still most important...........SEND ME PICTURES.
ciou
ciou
Friday, July 15, 2005
I'll be lost on a lonely late night
so yes, i am here and happy. actually startin to be very happy. i feel for once in a long time that i can do somethin with my life. I AM FISCALLY POWERFUL!!! or gettin there.
but i am startin to get pretty lonely. so i have a request to my friends.
could u guys start sendin me pictures of whats up. u know my email. just send pics of u, ur dogs, fun stuff, my dog, silly stuff. start takin pics please..........i really need them. id like to see whats goin on..........not much goin on here in the way of people........and its cool cause im havin alot of time to disipline myself.......but i like to see my friends and my home town........so seriously please.
Thanks
Tav
but i am startin to get pretty lonely. so i have a request to my friends.
could u guys start sendin me pictures of whats up. u know my email. just send pics of u, ur dogs, fun stuff, my dog, silly stuff. start takin pics please..........i really need them. id like to see whats goin on..........not much goin on here in the way of people........and its cool cause im havin alot of time to disipline myself.......but i like to see my friends and my home town........so seriously please.
Thanks
Tav
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
important things to see.
everyone. since u are on the internet this should not be difficult.
search for the Kanye West, Diamonds are Forever video. its is an incredible black and white must see video. if u dont get what its about, please look it up after u see it.
second u must see the Dave video for American Baby (if u dont know who i mean when i just say 'dave', then u shouldnt be reading my blog, cause u have most likely never met me. and that would be just weird.) if u dont feel looking hard for that video, a small screen one is at mtv.com.
kanye's video is not.........might be to harsh.
he's just keepin' it' real.........when keepin it real goes wrong.
search for the Kanye West, Diamonds are Forever video. its is an incredible black and white must see video. if u dont get what its about, please look it up after u see it.
second u must see the Dave video for American Baby (if u dont know who i mean when i just say 'dave', then u shouldnt be reading my blog, cause u have most likely never met me. and that would be just weird.) if u dont feel looking hard for that video, a small screen one is at mtv.com.
kanye's video is not.........might be to harsh.
he's just keepin' it' real.........when keepin it real goes wrong.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
i hope u gooooo indian baby!
i love animals.........but o my god this is an ugly monkey."A zoo official holds a seven-day old Stump-Tailed macaque at the state zoological park in Gauhati, India, Saturday, July 9, 2005. The macaque lost his mother two days ago. Stump-Tailed is one of the rare species macaque in the world. (AP Photo/ Anupam Nath) "
Friday, July 08, 2005
above all time and light
the clouds in reverse
wet thick ocean fog, the sent of salt surrounding me so thick i could only see the grass in front of me
but overhead was blue clear sunny sky
all round me as far as i could see was grey, the clouds were with me
sea gulls flying around me, no where about the fog
and the fog was lit in crystals of sun shine
: blues and greys
i want to cry
green of the grass reflecting up to the lowest parts of the cloudy mist surrounding me
and orange and blue straight above me, shimering beautifully clear
the sun pushing straight apon my head but being let through no were else
beautiful
it was as if i was in the clouds and buildings and structures were up there with me
cars and parking lots set up in the clouds of crystal seagull sparkilng spectum colored fog of clouded resilience
it consumed me and my american smoke, its smoke blew through mine.
fog sun shine salt filled my lungs as i blew mine into the morning, recipricating what i had been giving, breathing back and forth smoke to smoke.
my rebel yell screamed in my stomach, and i wanted to scream in joy.
anything i can if i can look over and see it reflected in ur eyes.
good newfie morning.
wet thick ocean fog, the sent of salt surrounding me so thick i could only see the grass in front of me
but overhead was blue clear sunny sky
all round me as far as i could see was grey, the clouds were with me
sea gulls flying around me, no where about the fog
and the fog was lit in crystals of sun shine
: blues and greys
i want to cry
green of the grass reflecting up to the lowest parts of the cloudy mist surrounding me
and orange and blue straight above me, shimering beautifully clear
the sun pushing straight apon my head but being let through no were else
beautiful
it was as if i was in the clouds and buildings and structures were up there with me
cars and parking lots set up in the clouds of crystal seagull sparkilng spectum colored fog of clouded resilience
it consumed me and my american smoke, its smoke blew through mine.
fog sun shine salt filled my lungs as i blew mine into the morning, recipricating what i had been giving, breathing back and forth smoke to smoke.
my rebel yell screamed in my stomach, and i wanted to scream in joy.
anything i can if i can look over and see it reflected in ur eyes.
good newfie morning.
and i havent even walked my block.
so. i am a narcissist. and i am curious about what is going on concerning me in nashvegas. so if anyone wants to do me a favor and tell me there thoughts on me......in a short comment sort of way. if they have any suggestions of what i should do with my life, or if im missing something, or whatever. please put it in my comments and lets have a tavius and what he should do conversation on my blog..........i like talkin bout me!
p.s. dont hold back or reword things politely please.
this would really help me......i need it from the people i love and that love me.....which means not junkfruit......who the fuck are u?? dont just comment like u know me......and if u comment make it atleast funny u 17 year old, borrowing ur dads car (okay i dont have a car or one to borrow so ur one up on me there) bastard! im in canada fool! u dont know what i have learned up here man! i have learned the art of not doing anything offensive fool!!! dont make me pull out being ridiculously nice!!! u cant take that kid!
p.s. dont hold back or reword things politely please.
this would really help me......i need it from the people i love and that love me.....which means not junkfruit......who the fuck are u?? dont just comment like u know me......and if u comment make it atleast funny u 17 year old, borrowing ur dads car (okay i dont have a car or one to borrow so ur one up on me there) bastard! im in canada fool! u dont know what i have learned up here man! i have learned the art of not doing anything offensive fool!!! dont make me pull out being ridiculously nice!!! u cant take that kid!
Thursday, July 07, 2005
this is impotent
"in this setting of leisurely erotic stimulation without sexual intercourse, the penis erection will wax and wane. the husband will discover that once an erection is obtained, it will come back if it goes away." - chapter 8 'impotent husband' book 'intended for pleasure Sex technique and sexual fulfillment in Christian Marriage"
boy howdy thats good bathroom reading...its funny to see what they tell christians about sex, and the things they suppose they dont know. if anybody gets the chance sit down with this book for a good laugh. its quite impotent.
boy howdy thats good bathroom reading...its funny to see what they tell christians about sex, and the things they suppose they dont know. if anybody gets the chance sit down with this book for a good laugh. its quite impotent.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
give me that old time oscar the grouch it good enough for me
If you wake up in the morning mean and grumpy
And you frown at ev'rybody that you see
If you like your oatmeal nice and cold and lumpy
Then you're a grouch like me
If you love it when it's wet and cold and raining
And the music that you like is all off key
If you're happiest whenever you're complaining
Then you're a grouch like me
If you hate it when your grandma kisses you
You know what? Well me, too!
If you love to see a garbage truck roll by
You know what? So do I!
And if you think a great big pile of trash is pretty
And that ice cream is yucchy as can be
If you can't stand a cuddly little kitty, then you're a grouch like me
If you hate it when your grandma kisses you
You know what? Well me, too!
If you love to see a garbage truck roll by
You know what? So do I!
And if you think a great big pile of trash is pretty
And that ice cream is yucchy as can be
If you can't stand a cuddly little kitty
And you'd like to chase her up the nearest tree
Then you can be pretty sure that you're a grouch like me
And you frown at ev'rybody that you see
If you like your oatmeal nice and cold and lumpy
Then you're a grouch like me
If you love it when it's wet and cold and raining
And the music that you like is all off key
If you're happiest whenever you're complaining
Then you're a grouch like me
If you hate it when your grandma kisses you
You know what? Well me, too!
If you love to see a garbage truck roll by
You know what? So do I!
And if you think a great big pile of trash is pretty
And that ice cream is yucchy as can be
If you can't stand a cuddly little kitty, then you're a grouch like me
If you hate it when your grandma kisses you
You know what? Well me, too!
If you love to see a garbage truck roll by
You know what? So do I!
And if you think a great big pile of trash is pretty
And that ice cream is yucchy as can be
If you can't stand a cuddly little kitty
And you'd like to chase her up the nearest tree
Then you can be pretty sure that you're a grouch like me
shut it.
im a dick!
im so happy with life!
i think i might actually be able to accomplish something with my life!
and i am so happy! so fricken happy! i will be driving, and working and living, and in control! i can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and its not the bad light at the end of the bad tunnel!
do do do do do, munamanah! do do do do, munamanah! do do do do do do do do do do do, do do do do do, do, do, do, dododo
im so happy with life!
i think i might actually be able to accomplish something with my life!
and i am so happy! so fricken happy! i will be driving, and working and living, and in control! i can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and its not the bad light at the end of the bad tunnel!
do do do do do, munamanah! do do do do, munamanah! do do do do do do do do do do do, do do do do do, do, do, do, dododo
Monday, July 04, 2005
well.........
er well i think i just um got my orgasm for the week.
http://www.the-nextlevel.com/board/showthread.php?t=37093
its just too neat!
http://www.the-nextlevel.com/board/showthread.php?t=37093
its just too neat!
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Saturday, July 02, 2005
he's a complicated man and no one understands him but his lucky grrl
Im done i did it!!
Tavius.....fuck yeah!
here to work his mother fuckin ass yeah!
thats my song.
but seriously i find that no matter what the sitution u can work urself through it,
if its ur ex-girlfriend trying to finish moving out of ur old house and on with her life (cut to bex, stachi and ethan movin out of the house)
or old friends on vacation (cut to justin and audra hangin out, out of town)
or new love's figuring out what they want with their life ( cut to ashley writing in her journal)
or me spendin painful hours at work overcoming my destructive side (cut to tavius in a security guard outfit, with a deep look on his face. as he's standing in a booze store with everyone running around stealing all the booze)
you have to find the happiness in the moment, to pull u through to the true happy moments......its the only thing that u can do to actually make u happy....
in moments like these i hear a little song in my head played on a piano.
it goes, buh bu bu bu ba bu ba buhh...... buh bu bu ba bu buh bunh buhhhhh.
Tavius.....fuck yeah!
here to work his mother fuckin ass yeah!
thats my song.
but seriously i find that no matter what the sitution u can work urself through it,
if its ur ex-girlfriend trying to finish moving out of ur old house and on with her life (cut to bex, stachi and ethan movin out of the house)
or old friends on vacation (cut to justin and audra hangin out, out of town)
or new love's figuring out what they want with their life ( cut to ashley writing in her journal)
or me spendin painful hours at work overcoming my destructive side (cut to tavius in a security guard outfit, with a deep look on his face. as he's standing in a booze store with everyone running around stealing all the booze)
you have to find the happiness in the moment, to pull u through to the true happy moments......its the only thing that u can do to actually make u happy....
in moments like these i hear a little song in my head played on a piano.
it goes, buh bu bu bu ba bu ba buhh...... buh bu bu ba bu buh bunh buhhhhh.
he's the one they call doctor feel good.
alright this is my last lunch and i when i get back i have 1hour and 45 mins left.......im a whining pussy i know. but when i get back i will sing u a song to make it all better.
jesus walk with me
alright folks im half dead and feel like crap, but im over the hump, this is lunch and i got 5 hours left. might try savin urself.
"the only thing that i pray is that my feet dont fail me now"
"the only thing that i pray is that my feet dont fail me now"
everything good im gone, nervous and wasted thankfully
Hey everybody,
please pray for me tomorrow, or today if u will.
This Sat, or in 7 hours i have to do my last 12 hour shift. and its at a lonely boring store.......and i think all the 12 hour shifts i worked last week made me really sick.....i cant not show up tomorrow or call in sick, but im not sure if i can do it.........its a character flaw, but shit i dont want to do is really about impossible for me to do. my body, my mind all shuts down.......if i can make it tomorrow i will get to work only 6 hours shifts at a much better store for 6 days a week, which is brilliant and fuckin glorious. but i need all the help i can get...........serious. i need to be able to do this. if not my life is kinda fucked........and the part that sucks is i never know if im strong enough to beat myself.........
please pray for me tomorrow, or today if u will.
This Sat, or in 7 hours i have to do my last 12 hour shift. and its at a lonely boring store.......and i think all the 12 hour shifts i worked last week made me really sick.....i cant not show up tomorrow or call in sick, but im not sure if i can do it.........its a character flaw, but shit i dont want to do is really about impossible for me to do. my body, my mind all shuts down.......if i can make it tomorrow i will get to work only 6 hours shifts at a much better store for 6 days a week, which is brilliant and fuckin glorious. but i need all the help i can get...........serious. i need to be able to do this. if not my life is kinda fucked........and the part that sucks is i never know if im strong enough to beat myself.........
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