good times good times

"After 1,700 deaths, over 12,000 wounded and $200 billion spent, we believe it is time to have this debate and this discussion on this resolution," Rep. Walter Jones, R-North Carolina, said Thursday." - cnn

really!?!? really!?!? no shit u fuckin idiot. who the hell puts these people in power? oh wait us. then we must be the fuckin idiots who take this much death and pain and money before we realize that this was a dumb fuckin idea. its like someone just takes the brains of these people and replaces them with some sort of brick like goo.....well at least this smart, republican is standing up for whats right. wonder if he has helped us in desperate situations where the government needs to change something urgently important?.......

"Jones, a member of the House Armed Services Committee, is the same congressman who pushed for the House cafeteria to change the name of French fries to "freedom fries" after France opposed the U.S. drive to war." -CNN

GAW!! IDIOT!!!

"On Thursday he joined a bipartisan group of House members sponsoring a proposed bill calling on the administration to announce a plan for a U.S. withdrawal from Iraq by the year's end and for the withdrawal to begin by Oct. 1, 2006." - CNN

and who ever said politicians are slow? just a little death and destruction....thats all.

'Cause I chose to live life with a filthy mouth

"when your sleepy, you work on impulse, and are only
concerned with what you want or what you want to
hear come out of the other person"

i have no exuse

im an idiot.
i guess its done.......now to ask forgiveness.
but im gonna move on and this time not just by walkin.
but drivin.

"If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me or treat me mean
I make the most of it I'm an extraordinary machine"-fiona apple "extraordinary machine"

so man its been a little more than 2 weeks.....and im sleepin......and eatin....barely drinkin or smokin (mostly the cost) my brain feels like its connected to my emotions again.....not a bad start....now lets see which way we roll on the hill from here. up is work.....lets see whats at the top, anybody ready for a good uphill trip? onward and upward!!!........now for that sleep thing......at least a few hours.

Can't get the sink off
He's been hanging round for days
Come like a comet
Suckered you but not your friends
One day he'll get to you
Teach you how to be a holy cow

You do it to yourself
You do
And that's what really hurts
Is you do it yourself
Just you
You and no-one else
You do it to yourself.

Don't get no sympathy
Hanging out the 15th floor
You've changed the locks 3 times
He still comes reeling through the door
And soon he'll get to you
Teach you how to get to purest hell.

You do it to yourself
You do
And that's what really hurts
Is you do it yourself
Just you
You and no-one else
You do it to yourself.

This is not about Love.

i am a little reckless at times
mostly because i am a wreck
ship wrecked on a cold rock
dirty socks and my back hurts to bad to bend down.
postureless, poserful, god they are beautiful.
and staring at pictures makes me wonder how love wavers.
what an image and whats 3d?
dreaming of me dreaming of u having nightmares about me.
all 3 are lonely. and im why.

" If you don't have a song
To sing you're okay
You know how to get along
Humming
Hmmm

If you don't have a date
Celebrate
Go out and sit on the lawn
And do nothing
'Cause it's just what you must do
Nobody does it anymore

No I don't believe in the wasting of time,
But I don't believe that I'm wasting mine

if you don't have a point to make
Don't sweat it
You'll make a sharp one being so kind
And I'd sure appreciate it
Everyone else's goal's to get big headed
Why should I follow that beat being that I'm
Better than fine" - fiona apple "waltz" extraordinary machine

Tavius in canada with coats on!

find urself a different place. dont care where.....go go go, mentally physically. go. ur dreams are not just fantasy. dont let them be. dont look back and hope look forward and do, do. tee hee.......er uh...back to being smart.....everybody who reads this should stop being old fuckers......u are old, stop lying to urself....its not gonna change or get better unless u do it right now, right fuckin now......ur responsibilities are a crutch for ur fear......all of these thoughts u think mean nothing without action, they are just thoughts, metaphors.....like politics, or compassion, or ethics....none of them mean shit if we arent doing anything and just blogging about them.....oh wait.....crap....im doing that.......phuck!!!........well ill see u again when i dont just have to bitch/blog about it.....

p.s. if u are gonna bitch at me on the comments at least dont do it without ur name.
ben. fucker......jewtard.....b/t/w where do i find the other piece for my xbox?......

fear is not the end of this

whoever said that "it is the worst to be lonely in a crowd" is a fuckin moron......its more lonely when u cant reach anyone else absolutely. in the room is a concept, a mental seperation created be u or others, when u are by yourself with no option is factual.....if in fact we dont see all concepts as fiction created in the mind to blahdee fuckin bla bla bla. anywho when u cannot reach anyone, or do not have the option in any laws of physics way, that is lonely.....the absolute physical scientific inability to do anything....... im not there but MAN wouldnt that such.....say u are on an island with all the food drink housing porn and such u would ever need to live but in no way could u actually be in contact with anyone.....dude would that guys life SUCK!!!! talk about lonely.....boy howdey.

qua

so this place is soooo fucking cold!!! it snowed yesterday......its fucking june!!! there is no god here.
if santa was a good loving man he would stop sending fucking cold artic winds from his warm cosy cabin in the north pole. jack ass.

okay

canada, invasion of privacy, sex, perfection, booze, 3 times the price, smokes of clorine, sam phillips, im fucked. and happy, temperature smokes out of my lungs. i havent forgot. i cant forget. death for growth. ungrown. must grow. perfection.

there just spies

does anyone feel like they are in a movie, and are they're slightly afriad this movie aint gonna end nothin but 'indie' .

ya know .....the one were the crappy thing happens to the main character no matter how much you want them to succeed...............ya know its not gonna work................but you hope.............
hope.........faith..........love.............i know these are all great.............but im not sure a single one makes me feel great..........and none can make me feel like the greatest......................and i saw sparks...........yeah............i saw sparks.

peter peter pumkin eater

" gasping for air makes the righteous path harder to choose."

Long December

"It seem the winter laugh a little slower makes you talk a little lower about the things you could not show her."

i miss my art.....i miss being an artist....i miss having a purpose.
i think i am slipping into some for of delusion.
nothing is real. its a movie without a plot, and im not sure the good guy is gonna win.
i am very detached, i am trying, i feel......it just doesn't feel back.
i am happy, but not sure why.
i am detached. none of it feels real. it doesn't feel real at all.
i need AA

how quimzical

take a quiz about me.....why?.....why not.

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz_IM.php?quizname=040818123140-waka~p20waka

Meanwhile Rick James takes her new

educated, related and belated by the consepts of constructs that are constant, and constantly changing. voice of the universe ranging from strange to sane, straining for me to listen to living, but im to busy building walls of flaws. pause.....discuss.

Rick James is dead.
and im feeling super freaky

im lonely

today is today. crap....it should be at least wensday,
i am sitting at work. by myself. here right now i am god and peasent.....my choice is all that matters, yet and still it has no affect on anything around me. Herb is gone, i am glad he can find his dreams.....but mine are hard to persue without him. Andrew is in Mapleland. Music burns in me. i dont want to do it just by myself. that might be my option.

if monkey see, i think i should do.

im lonely

today is today. crap....it should be at least wensday,
i am sitting at work. by myself. here right now i am god and peasent.....my choice is all that matters, yet and still it has no affect on anything around me. Herb is gone, i am glad he can find his dreams.....but mine are hard to persue without him. Andrew is in Mapleland. Music burns in me. i dont want to do it just by myself. that might be my option.

if monkey see, i think i should do.

Without the sticky little kitten,

A heart that's full up like a landfill
A job that slowly kills you
Bruises that won't heal
You look so tired and unhappy
Bring down the government
They don't, they don't speak for us
I'll take a quiet life
A handshake of carbon monoxide
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
Silent, silent
This is my final fit, my final bellyache with
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises please
Such a pretty house, such a pretty garden
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises please" - radiohead

how do i find myself away from this conclusion?......i can make a extreme up, a tragic down or settle.......christ is the hope.......but what hope?........i dont seem to be able to really change anyone, everyone can only change themselves....but into what?....what are we supposed to change ourselves into?....do we follow christ to get super powers? respect? love? or to not not get to heaven?......i want to see God, but more....just like a lover i have not been able get enough, but unlike a lover i want to have more than just the feeling of them. i want to know them, but how can i know God if i keep getting told he is more than my mind can comprehend?
why am i just seeking a goal that i can only see after life?
how does that encourage me to live?.....wow i sound suicidal....im not.....i just would like to quit.....and killing myself is not quiting its doing something.....something creepy.....dont matter how you look at it, taking your own life is creepy.....really!
eh.....now i dont know what im talking about.......it just seems life is about people, and all the people are about themselves.....like me.





without the pretty pink ribbon
you'll end up just like me. -cake (a four letter word)

dave

Twenty three and so tired of life
Such a shame to throw it all away
The images grow darker still
Could I have been anyone other than me? Then I

Look up at the sky
My mouth is open wide, lick and taste
What's the use in worrying, what's the use in hurrying
Turn, turn we almost become dizzy

Iam who I am who I am who am I
Requesting some enlightenment
Could I have been anyone other than me? - DMB

i have been listening to this song for 8 years.........i now just realized it applies.
5/27/81

tavius

i really think im losing it,
i might be bi-polar,
solar flares impares my vision,
my personalities lack of percision
creates division in anything i can be.

i dont know how to see the point anymore,
im a whore for my drinkin and im the one payin.

betrayin all my previous hope,
i dont think i can cope,
on a slippery slope of logic,
im tragic, overdramitic let me be static
perma-matic.

find a fascit of life that dont make me want to quit.
i really cant take this shit, im not fit for living nor fit for dying,
someone start trying to help me keep trying,
if we were not lying about our self denying
then maybe we could carry a cross that was not of our own carving,
a cross that means we are dying without dying,
can i see what that is meaning.
or where is the meaning -TM